It’s not often that you develop an overwhelming desire to leave a club before you’ve had a chance to even look at the drinks menu. Unfortunately, the Works would give you plenty of practice
The Venue
It’s not all doom and gloom for the Works as it does have its uses. For instance, it’s a good enough distance from Kingston Rail station to really give you that workout you’ve been too lazy to do. To top that, you can even find your way there pretending to be the suave James (or Jane) Bond. The road the Works resides in is often blocked to cars in the evening. So you can have fun finding an alternative route to the venue as though you were an undercover spy.
The Works is not the ideal place for claustrophobics – or anyone for that matter. It’s especially a problem for claustrophobics though because yes, you guessed it, it’s ridiculously small. There is hardly any room to shake a finger let alone a whole leg.
With garish red suede sofas attempting to lure you the club has a main dancefloor and a smaller room, both complete with just enough seating and the obligatory bar. You could attempt to cheer yourself by going upstairs. Here you’ll at least have the opportunity to look down on your fellow unfortunates on a theatrical corridor complete with more bars.
The Atmosphere
The bouncers have an interesting door policy. Should you appear out of place by their questionable standards you do not stand a chance. This would suggest that you need to bear some resemblance to the lovely Vicky Pollard to be granted access to the coveted venue.
Vicky has never been more ubiquitous than at the Works. This is great for teenagers with dubious ID and a partiality to the simpler things in life. Suffice it to say the more experienced clubber would feel truly out of place here. You would be forgiven for thinking that you had unwittingly gate-crashed a sixth form end-of-term party. And you’d want to put the whole club in detention.
The Music
Sadly the disappointment does not end with grumpy bouncers and juvenile crowds. The club has no redeeming qualities when it comes to the music played. Don’t be surprised to hear songs you never thought you would hear again being revived in Kingston.
If you could call them classics it wouldn’t be such a problem, but to resurrect songs you discarded long ago and erased all memory of is just cruel.
Any flyers promoting the club should advise ‘BYOM’ – Bring Your Own Music.
The Drink
The bar is great – that is until a member of staff charges you for a soft drink. Bar prices leave much to be desired, as if you didn’t have enough to contend with. The least to be said is prepare for the ridiculous, especially if you want an alcoholic beverage.
Be thankful for small mercies, however, as bars come complete with your average array of brews, from an innocent alcopops to a more burly beer. But remember these are only small mercies and they come at a cost.
The Last Word
If you are desperate for a night out and a friend suggests the Works, stop, drop and roll in the opposite direction. You would be better off raiding your parents’ drinks cabinet and congregating around the neighbour’s dustbin with the local foxes as musical entertainment.
Star Rating: 1/5
Words by Sarah Allen
Sarah Allen 